The 50 Weirdest Job Titles

Here at Coburg Banks we see so many CVs that you would think that nothing would surprise us any more   However, once in a while we see a weird job title on a CV that is so bizarre it completely bamboozles us.

Internally in a business, having a contest to give someone the weirdest job title may seem a bit of fun.  But when that person feels that the time is right to move on from that business, some wrongly believe that casting away conventional job titles will give them individuality and an edge over their competitors in the market.

It’s a risky tactic though.  With the average CV looked at by a recruiter for no longer than 10 – 20 seconds, candidates calling themselves either a wizard or a ninja will quickly be laughed out of the running for a new position.

Some companies also believe they can get away with paying a staff member a pitiful wage as long as they give them a beefy sounding title.  I remember taking my first role after leaving University back in the mid-Nineties.  I was earning what would barely be minimum wage now, but I was given the fancy title of Corporate Incentive Manager.

To this day I still fail to see the relationship with the weird job title and what I was actually doing in my day-to-day duties, with most of my time spent counting boxes of t-merchandise in a warehouse.

I have compiled below the 50 weirdest job titles that have genuinely been found on CVs.  It perhaps says something about people in marketing, of which I am one, that the majority of the convoluted job titles below are from the marketing sector.

I have tried to decipher as many of the weird job titles as I can and put the logical job title next to the idiotic one, but some have defeated me.  I’ve put a question mark to the weird job titles I couldn’t quite understand.  If you can guess what they are, pop your version of the job title in the comments box below.

1.     Beverage Dissemination Officer – Bartender

2.    Chick Sexer – Someone who determines the sex of chickens

3.    Digital Overlord – Website Manager

4.    Retail Jedi – Shop Assistant

5.    Wizard of Light Bulb Moments – Marketing Director

6.    Chief Chatter – Call Centre Manager

7.    Animal Colourist – This person dyes animals for movies and marketing campaigns

8.    Problem Wrangler – Counselor

9.    Twisted Brother – Balloon Artist

10. Digital Dynamo  - Digital Marketing Executive

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11.  Direct Mail Demi-God – Direct Mail Manager

12.  Dream Alchemist – Head of Creative

13.  Marketing Rockstar – Marketing Executive

14.  Light Bender – Someone who is responsible for the high-tech, precision job of making neon lights

15.  Space Travel Agent – This is the job of Craig Curran who is an accredited travel agent for Virgin Galactic, the world’s first space tourism business.

16.  Associate to the Executive Manager of Marketeer’ing and Conservation efforts – Marketing Assistant

17.  Pneumatic device and machine optimizer – Factory Worker

18.  Senior Kindle Evangelist’ – In charge of all things ‘Kindle’ for Amazon

19.  Brand Evangelist – Marketing Brand Manager

20. Chief Inspiration Officer – A ‘CIO’ is a company representative whose role is essentially to encourage ‘belief in the company’ and ‘internal evangelism of its values’ (give me strength)

21.  Part-Time Czar – Czars were Eastern European supreme rulers that haven’t been around since WWII. This person is either an assistant manager or perhaps an emperor of Russia who has been kept in a cryopreserve state since 1917 and is now ready to rejoin the job market.

23.  Associate Vice President – One of a number of Vice Presidents

24.  Patron Saint of Academic Studying – Unless this person was several hundred years old, I’m doubting whether this person is being totally honest about being a saint.

25.  Personalized care assistant – Surely just care Assistant is fine?

26.  Hair Boiler- Someone who boils animal hair until it curls (for use in a variety of products)

27.  Cheese Sprayer – Someone who sprays cheese or butter by hand on popcorn

28.  Oyster Floater – Someone who floats oysters in water until they are free of impurities

29.  Marketing Rockstar – Marketing Manager

30.  Grand master of underlings – Deputy Manager

31.  Creativity analyst – Assistant Marketing Manager

32.  Accounting Ninja – Financial Manager (Trying to make numbers sound sexier than they are)

33.  Sales Ninja – Sales Executive

34.  Conversation Architect – Digital Marketing Manager

35.  Director of Fun – Director of Marketing

36.  New Media Guru – Digital Marketing Manager

37.  Initiative Officer – Planner

38.  Social Media Trailblazer – Digital Marketing Executive

39.  Corporate Magician – Trade Show Magician

40.  Master Handshaker – ?????

41.  Communications Ambassador – ?????

42.  Happiness Advocate – ?????

43.  Under Secretary to the Sub-Committee – ?????

44.  Hyphenated-specialist – ??????

45.  Second Tier Totalist – ??????

46.  Actions and Repercussions Adviser -??????

47.  Professionalist International and world-wide optical and vision-focused tenured professorship – ??????

48.  Creator of Happiness -??????

49.  Change Magician -  ?????

50.  Chief Biscuit Dunker- ??????

If you would like to avoid telling the world you a wizard or an evangelist, then read my blog on 20 reasons why your CV will be rejected, which will give you plenty of pointers to grab that next big job.

For further help with CVs, interviews or if even if you are starting a new job, read our blogs or join us on Linkedin to get further information.

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Nathan Lloyd

Group Marketing Manager for Coburg Banks.

Thanks for reading and should you require any further help finding that next big move, or if you are looking to recruit don’t hesitate to get in touch with me via LinkedIn or Twitter below.

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  1. avatar

    In Subway people get called “Sandwich Artist” – call yourself a Customer Assistant/Sales Assistant, not Sandwich Artist! As an ex-recruiter, this made me giggle a lot when someone walked in with it on their CV. In cinemas as well job titles were often “Multifunctional Assistant” – again, customer service assistant would suffice.

    by Anon — July 31, 2012 @ 2:58 pm

  2. avatar

    49., Change Magician – seems to be a cashier?

    by Tom — August 10, 2012 @ 1:15 pm

  3. avatar

    Here is my best guess for the following job titles:
    40. Public Policy/ Communication Manager (in the Pharma industry)
    49. Change Management Director (IT)

    by Kate — August 10, 2012 @ 3:41 pm

  4. avatar

    Master Handshaker sounds like a receptionist.
    Actions and Repercussions Adviser might be a customer service manager.
    Second Tier Totalist sounds like it should be the name of a speed metal band!

    by Tony — August 17, 2012 @ 5:44 pm

  5. avatar

    42.Under Secretary to the Sub-Committee – ?????

    Civil servant.

    by Katherine — November 8, 2012 @ 12:55 pm

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