Coburg Banks | Multi-sector UK recruitment agency

25 Weird Employee Complaints, HR Managers Have (Genuinely) Received

By Anthony Hughes | Mar 3, 2016 | Friday Funnies

3 men holding up signs saying 'your aura sucks' 'you work too hard' and 'you smell'Have you ever complained about the irritating people in your office?

The other day, I came across a hilarious little post by Career Builder about some of the strangest workplace complaints employers have ever heard (you’ll find some of them later in this blog).

So for this week’s Friday Funny, I thought I’d do a little investigating of my own…

Below, you’ll find 25 of the weirdest and most wonderful complaints I could find that, according to HR Managers, are 100% genuine (the names have been changed for confidentiality reasons).

Unnecessary or justified? I’ll let you decide for yourself…

Hygiene and General Appearance.

ross from friends getting his terrible tanComplaint 1: Jed is too sun-tanned.

Complaint 2: James smells like road ramps.

Complaint 3: Jess is just too attractive. It’s distracting.

Complaint 4: John breathes too loudly. It makes me feel like I’m suffocating.

Complaint 5: Jane keeps scratching her head all day. I’m pretty sure she has nits or rabies or something.

Just Bizarre.

a sloth scratching himselfComplaint 6: I think Jason might be a pimp.

Complaint 7: Julie’s aura is wrong.

Complaint 8: I keep hearing scratching noises from Joel’s booth.

Complaint 9: Jasper’s body is magnetic and keeps de-activating my magnetic access card.

Complaint 10: Jemima spends too much time caring for stray cats around the building.

Personality Clashes.

the count from sesame street knocking loads of big rubber letters off a tableComplaint 11: Jacob keeps mimicking the Count from Sesame Street as he counts the inventory.

Complaint 12: I can’t stand sitting next to Jan. She isn’t a vegetarian and she literally smells like meat.

Complaint 13: Josh isn’t accepting my Facebook friendship request.

Complaint 14: Josephine keeps changing my profile picture to Macaulay Culkin and telling everyone that I love him.

Complaint 15: She’s just the most boring person I’ve ever met, it’s ruining the mood in the office.

Food (and drink).

ross from friends shouting 'someone ate the only good thing in my life'Complaint 16: I brought in some homemade brownies and Jake took 2.

Complaint 17: Someone stole a doughnut from my desk. I demand that you look at the CCTV to find out who it was.

Complaint 18: I’m pretty sure Jackson is trying to poison me.

Complaint 19: Jaden made everyone tea but he never put sugar in mine and I’ve reminded him loads of times.

Complaint 20: She doesn’t even drink alcohol, what’s that about?


man really busy typing - with three arms so he can drink coffee at the same timeComplaint 21: Julian works too hard.

Complaint 22: I hate that Jeff’s better than me at my job.

Complaint 23: I think my client is in love with Jenna.

Complaint 24: She has the same name as me.

Complaint 25: I’m friends with her brother.

Bonus: The King of (Getting) Complaints

If you’ve never read the amazing story of David Thorne, then you are seriously missing out.

This guy is clearly a prankster that may possibly have gone a little too far and in the process, managed to amass 10 hilarious complaint letters within the space of 6 months.

Exhibit A:

“While I was at lunch a package came for me because I ordered a t-shirt online last week. It was on my desk and when I opened it there was a pair of socks in it and I could tell the package had been opened and taped back up. When I went into David Thorne’s office, he was wearing the t-shirt. He did not have my permission to open the package or touch my personal property.”

Could you work with him?

What do you think?

Some of these weird and wonderful complaints are pretty justified – I mean pinching a doughnut from someone’s desk is pretty bolshie!

Others, not so much – is “she has the same name as me” really a good reason to stir things up?

To check out the 50 most common (and much more serious...) reasons that people complain about their colleagues, click here!

Recruiter Pro Tip

As an HR Manager, it’s important to take all complaints seriously – there could be an underlying tension or issue behind even a seemingly silly claim!

For some advice on how to deal with employee complaints, click here to check out Acas’s guide.

On the other hand, if you want to make a complaint at work and are worried about how you should go about it, this GOV.UK article should help.

It’s so important to build a happy, engaged culture at your company – that’s how you get the best out of your staff!

Click here to sign up to similar funny, light-hearted posts like this one.

Happy Friday!

- Anthony Hughes

Anthony Hughes

Anthony is a recruitment veteran of 18 years and is also one of the original founders of Coburg Banks. He now trains recruitment consultants on the best methods to utilise when sourcing and assessing applicants for their clients. 


> More blog posts by Anthony Hughes

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