It’s that time of year again…
A time for overindulgence, merriment and mornings filled with headaches, feelings of shame and the dreaded “what-the-hell-did-I-do-last-night? confusion.
Don’t worry – we’ve all been there.
If you want to avoid these regrets – I suggest you read our blog on how to survive the Christmas party.
Too late? Hopefully this list of the 40 most awful, awkward and outrageous office Christmas party confessions will make you feel a little bit better!
Confession 1: “I called the CEO of our company ‘the Grinch,’ ‘Scrooge’ and ‘the nightmare before Christmas,’ (to his face) apparently for no reason whatsoever.
Confession 2: “I went on a political rampage, calling anyone who voted for a certain party a ‘bunch of selfish d*ckheads.’ I offended at least 6 people, including my boss.”
Confession 3: “My boss ran out of our (really expensive) Christmas meal and ‘forgot’ to pay the bill.”
Confession 4: “I put on the sexy Christmas slip that I’d bought that day to surprise my boyfriend.”
Confession 5: “I’m pretty sure I gave my co-workers food poisoning, but let someone else take the blame.”
Confession 6: “No idea what happened, but I woke up on a train in Edinburgh (from Birmingham).”
Confession 7: “My boss forced me to sing A Capella karaoke because no one would volunteer.”
Confession 8: “I jumped up onto my friend’s back but we fell over and she broke her arm.”
Confession 9: “My boss made my change what I was wearing because it was the same dress as her.”
Confession 10: “The queues were too long for the toilet so I went outside to wee behind a wall. Bumped into my boss doing the exact same thing.”
Confession 11: “Everyone was smoking Shisha, which for some reason, I thought was cannabis (never done drugs before). Trying to be cool, I spent the evening talking about munchies and how I could ‘feel it working on me.’ My co-workers only told me the next day!”
Confession 12. “Fell asleep on the toilet, woke up and everyone was gone. I was locked in the bar.”
Confession 13. “I stole my boss’s desk plant. I still have it, I’ve just never had the guts to give it back. He’s sent angry emails around and everything.”
Confession 14. “I called myself an ambulance because I was ‘too drunk.’”
Confession 15. “Tried to be really cool and do that ‘pulling the tablecloth from beneath the glasses’ trick. Completely failed, smashed everything. Red wine went everywhere.”
Confession 16. “I got wasted and performed Lord of the Dance.”
Confession 17. “It was fancy dress so I arrived dressed up as a Christmas tree in this tatty morph suit. After an hour of serious dance moves, the suit ripped, revealing everything, to everyone”
Confession 18. “I wasn’t drinking but wanted to prove I could still have fun so when I was dared to strip off and run around the building, I obliged. They locked me outside for like an hour.”
Confession 19. “One of the other team managers was flirting and telling me he was single and his wife rocked up. She’d hear everything.”
Confession 20. “I did a strip tease.”
Confession 21. “I taught everyone to pole dance. I’ve never pole danced in my life.”
Confession 22. “Me and a co-worker got intimate in the boss’s new car.”
Confession 23. “I tried to photocopy my bum but smashed the photocopier glass. Ended up in A&E!”
Confession 24. “It was my birthday on the same day so I ran around telling everyone and forcing them to sing Happy Birthday to me. Even clients I didn’t know.
Confession 25. “My dress fell down to my ankles.”
Confession 26. “My colleagues tricked me into thinking it was a fancy dress party. I showed up to a black tie event dressed as a Christmas pudding.”
Confession 27. “Proposed to my girlfriend in front of everyone. She said no.”
Confession 28. “I told pretty much the entire team that I hated them.”
Confession 29. “I woke up the next day on my boss’s couch. Probably made it worse by legging it.”
Confession 30. “I serenaded my office crush then got in a fight with her boyfriend.”
Confession 31. “I quit my job, didn’t realise and returned back to work on the Monday.”
Confession 32. “I woke up to like a million messages and miscalls. Turns out I’d put inappropriate pictures of people (really drunk and wearing hardly anything) all over Facebook.”
Confession 33. “I stripped off and jumped into my boss’s swimming pool – it was a black tie, fine-dining event.”
Confession 34. “I poured pretty much a whole bottle of vodka across my boss’s desk, on purpose.”
Confession 35. “I tried to stand up on a desk chair, fell off and broke my nose.”
Confession 36. “I don’t remember anything. I’ve just never gone back to work there.”
Confession 37. “I blocked the toilet and it leaked everywhere. I blamed it on the boss.”
Confession 38. “I gave my (female) boss a wedgie.”
Confession 39. “I was talking about a hot guy I’d just bumped into and how he was definitely ‘my target’ for the evening and he just walked over. Turns out he was my co-worker’s new boyfriend.”
Confession 40. “I accused the CEO of spiking me.” (She definitely didn’t).
Talk about nightmare before Christmas…
Not sure you even want to attend your party, now? Go on!
It’s the perfect opportunity to get to know your colleagues (and boss) a little better and cement long-lasting relationships on a slightly more personal level.
Just be good!
Recruiter Pro Tip.
To avoid these awkward situations, try following these 9 (simple-ish) rules of Christmas office etiquette…
- Put your phone away.
- Dress appropriately.
- Watch what you say.
- Don’t drink too much.
- Don’t do drugs.
(And don’t be too boring and just drone on about work all night – either)! Click here to read more!
If you’d like to read more funny stories, light-hearted posts and (extremely) awkward confessions, sign up to our Friday Funnies blog – here – today!
Or, if this particular topic tickled your fancy, check out these similar articles…
- Why do I ALWAYS make a fool of myself at Christmas parties?
- 18 of the wildest office holiday party stories we’ve ever heard
- 6 Christmas Party Horror Stories
- 7 ways to avoid Christmas party disasters
Good luck!- Kris Kringle (James Ball)