50 Funny Motivational Quotes To Put A Smile On Your Face

Here are some of the funniest, wittiest and most entertaining 'motivational' quotes that will inspire you, and potentially make you laugh.

I stumbled across a rather aggravated post (rant) on LinkedIn the other day; detailing a certain user’s distaste (and hatred, actually) for inspirational quotes (posters to be more precise).

And ironically, it inspired me to write this blog.

I thought… surely, not every single quote out there is as ‘boring,’ ‘cheesy’ and ‘pointless’ as this LinkedIn user would have me believe?

[You've only got to go on Amazon for 5 minutes to see that lots of other people also think that there's something in motivation quotes...]

And so this week, I’ve been on a quest to find the funniest, most witty and genuinely interesting motivational (and a few de-motivational) one-liners I could - in a bid to win over the cynics… enjoy.

(Also, if you're looking to instil some motivation into your life, check out this guide on how to increase your motivation levels).

Motivational Quotes

1. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.”

Joe Girard

2. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”

Zig Ziglar

3. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realise I should have been more specific.”

Lily Tomlin

4. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.”

Oscar Wilde

5. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”

Winnie the Pooh

6. “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.”

Tom Lehrer

7. “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?”

Steven Wright

8. “Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.”

Unknown

9. “Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is!”

Jeffrey Gitomer

10. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”

Dalai Lama

11. “Bad decisions make good stories.”

Ellis Vidler

12. “I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess.”

Cassandra Duffy

13. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”

Cathy Guisewite

14. “A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.”

Mark Twain

15. “Well-behaved women seldom make history.”

Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

16. “I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.”

Benjamin Franklin

17. “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.”

Unknown

18. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.”

Charles Schulz

19. “Think like a proton. Always positive.”

Unknown

20. “Be happy – it drives people crazy.”

Unknown

21. “Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha.”

Robert Brault

22. "The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me.”

Ayn Rand.

23. "You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."

Robin Williams

24. “I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms”

Michael Scott

25. “If you let your head get too big, it'll break your neck.”

Elvis Presley

26. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.”

Will Rogers

27. “Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.”

Dwight D. Eisenhower

28. “Live each day like it's your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night.”

Jason Love

29. “Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.”

Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach

30. “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.”

Franklin P. Jones

31.“I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”

Ron White

32. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”

Thomas Eddison

33. “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.”

Unknown

34. “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says "I'm possible!"

Audrey Hepburn

35. “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.”

Robert Bloch

36. “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.”

Marilyn Monroe

37. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.”

Robert Frost

38. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”

Terry Pratchett

39. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.”

Billie Burke

40. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”

Unknown

How about some Friday de-motivation?

Bit of a cynic?

Do you agree that inspirational quotes are silly, boring and useless?

Well, here are some de-motivational (slightly sarcastic) quotes, just for you!

41. “Trying is the first step toward failure.”

Homer Simpson

42. “Happiness is just sadness that hasn’t happened yet.”

Unknown

43. “The best things in life are actually really expensive.”

Unknown

44. “Every tattoo is temporary, because we’re all slowly dying.”

Unknown

45. “A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.”

Justin Sewell

46. “Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them.”

Unknown

47. “It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.”  

Ashleigh Brilliant

48. “If the world didn't suck we'd all fly into space.”

Unknown

49. "The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts."

Unknown

50. “Always remember that you are unique – just like everybody else.”

Unknown

Click here to read more of these ridiculous, but hilarious quotes.

Coburg Banks Sales Recruitment

Want to to flood your sales team with superstar talent?

Since 2002, we've helped the UK's top companies recruit elite sales teams. Tell us about your role and we'll help you too.
I'm looking for a new job

Continue reading

View all
Category one
Category two
Category three
Category four
Coburg Banks Sales Recruitment Agency

The Psychology Behind Great Sales Hires

Understanding how the best sales professionals think and act can transform how you recruit and your company's prospects.
Coburg Banks Sales Recruitment Agency

The Surprising Cost of the Wrong Sales Hire

Hiring the wrong salesperson can cost more than you think. Discover the hidden impacts on revenue, morale, and your business's growth.
Coburg Banks Sales Recruitment Agency

Why Your Sales Targets Are Falling Flat (And What's Really to Blame)

Struggling to hit sales targets can feel frustrating. Discover hidden factors affecting sales performance and how to overcome them for success.
Coburg Banks Sales Recruitment Agency

Is Your Interview Process Costing You Great Salespeople?

Interview mistakes in sales recruitment could cost you top talent. Learn how to avoid common errors and secure high-performing salespeople for your team.
Coburg Banks Sales Recruitment Agency

Why Your Sales Job Ads Aren't Attracting the Right People

Struggling with sales job ads? Discover strategies to attract the right candidates and improve recruitment success.
Coburg Banks Sales Recruitment Agency

Struggling to Find Good Salespeople? Here's Why

Struggling to hire good salespeople? Discover why sales recruitment can be so challenging and how to overcome these obstacles.
Coburg Banks Sales Recruitment Agency

Sales Recruitment Revolution: Why Old-School Hiring Falls Short

Discover why traditional sales recruitment methods are failing companies today. Learn modern hiring techniques that actually find top talent faster.
Coburg Banks Sales Recruitment Agency

Want to Fill Your Sales Role Without Wasting Weeks on CVs?

Avoid CV overload in sales recruitment by streamlining your hiring process for efficiency. Learn how to focus on high-quality candidates and save time with expert support.
Coburg Banks Sales Recruitment Agency

How Strategic Sales Recruitment Drives Revenue Growth

Uncover how a strategic sales recruitment strategy can boost your revenue. Learn to transform hiring practices for better performance and growth.
Coburg Banks Sales Recruitment Agency

We Don't Just Find Salespeople - We Find the Right Ones

Is your sales team underperforming? Discover why quality sales hires are crucial for hitting targets and boosting growth.
Coburg Banks Sales Recruitment Agency

Why Clients Choose Coburg Banks for Sales Recruitment

Are you missing out on top sales talent? Learn how specialised recruitment strategies can help you secure high-performing sales professionals and boost your business growth.
Coburg Banks Sales Recruitment Agency

Inside Our Unique Sales Candidate Screening Process

Overwhelmed by CVs and struggling to find the right sales candidates? Discover how tailored candidate screening can streamline your recruitment process.
Coburg Banks Sales Recruitment Agency

How We Help Sales Leaders Build Top-Performing Teams

Is your sales team built for success or mediocrity? Discover how effective recruitment can transform your sales performance and drive business growth.
Coburg Banks Sales Recruitment Agency

The Coburg Banks Difference: Smarter Sales Hiring, Faster Results

Struggling with underperforming sales teams? Learn how hiring better salespeople can boost revenue and improve team dynamics.
Coburg Banks Sales Recruitment Agency

What to Expect When You Work With Coburg Banks

Unlock the secret to hiring top sales talent and boost revenue. Discover proven strategies to overcome recruitment challenges and transform your sales team.
Coburg Banks Sales Recruitment Agency

How We Help Sales Leaders Build Top-Performing Teams

Is your sales team built for success or mediocrity? Discover how effective recruitment can transform your sales performance and drive business growth.
Coburg Banks Sales Recruitment Agency

The Coburg Banks Difference: Smarter Sales Hiring, Faster Results

Struggling with underperforming sales teams? Learn how hiring better salespeople can boost revenue and improve team dynamics.
Coburg Banks Sales Recruitment Agency

What to Expect When You Work With Coburg Banks

Unlock the secret to hiring top sales talent and boost revenue. Discover proven strategies to overcome recruitment challenges and transform your sales team.