Last week, we posted a special Halloween extravaganza: The 10 Most Terrifying Jobs in the World.
What we uncovered was pretty disturbing… Yes, some people actually choose to work with blood, guts and flesh-eating bugs, ghouls, goblins and bombs.
One of the weirdest jobs we came across was Jim Harrison’s special role: The Snake Milker.
Think that’s weird? You ain’t seen nothing yet!
Below, I’ve compiled a list of the 100 oddest job titles, that have genuinely been found on CVs…
The 100 Weirdest Job Titles We’ve Seen…
1. Talent Delivery Specialist – Recruitment Consultant.
2. Snake Milker – Someone who milks snakes of their venom.
3. Chick Sexer – Someone who determines the sex of chickens.
4. Lab Rat – I would guess this means clinical trial volunteer…
5. Media Distribution Officer – Anyone with a paper round.
6. Animal Colourist – Someone who dyes animals for movies and marketing campaigns.
7. Hair Boiler – Someone who boils animal hair until it curls (for use in a variety of products).
8. Digital Overlord – A Website Manager.
9. Reindeer Walker – Click here to discover more, fantastically odd Christmas jobs!
10. Retail Jedi – A Shop Assistant.
11. Slaughterer – Someone who slaughters the meat that you eat.
12. Wizard of Light Bulb Moments – A Marketing Director.
13. Direct Mail Demi-God – A Direct Mail Manager.
14. Wet Leisure Attendant – A Lifeguard.
15. Grand Master of Underlings – A Deputy Manager.
16. Twisted Brother – A Balloon Artist.
17. Under Secretary to the Sub-Committee – Who knows?
18. Ghost Hunter – Click here to find out more… if you dare.
19. Master Handshaker – Who knows?
20. Great Service Agent – A Hotel Receptionist.
21. Education Centre Nourishment Consultants – A Dinner Lady.
22. Chief Everything Officer – They do everything… obviously.
23. Communications Ambassador – Who knows?
24. Colour Distribution Technician – A Painter and Decorator.
25. Zombie – Working as a zombie at the London Dungeons will bring in a substantial salary (£30,000)!
26. Happiness Advocate – Who knows?
27. Bride Kidnapping Expert – Who knows (actually, I’m not sure I want to know).
28. Legal Bank Robber – Someone who tests how easy it is to penetrate bank security!
29. Second Tier Totalist – Who knows?
30. Teddy Bear Surgeon – Someone who’ll stitch Snuggles up for you.
31. Creator of Happiness – Who knows?
32. Change Magician – Who knows?
33. Champagne Tester – Sign me up – right now!
34. Water Slide Tester – Amazing.
35. Rollercoaster Tester – Dream job for the adrenaline junkie!
36. Digital Dynamo – Digital Marketing Executive.
37. Dream Alchemist – Head of Marketing.
38. Scrum Master – Who knows?
39. Paradise Island Caretaker – Ben Southall is a lucky, lucky man.
40. Ice Rink Hand-Holder – I love this idea – I could certainly do with a helping hand.
41. Professional Sleeper – Sound like your cup of tea? For more details, click here!
42. Marketing Rock Star – A Marketing Executive
43. Head of Potatoes – Who knows?
44. Senior Kindle Evangelist – In charge of all things ‘Kindle’ for Amazon.
45. Brand Evangelist – A Marketing Brand Manager.
46. Tree Decorator – Someone’s got to tart up those trees and it ain’t gonna be the elves. They’re too busy.
47. Warden of the Swans – To find out exactly what Christopher Perrins does, read this Guardian article.
48. Marker of the Swans – Someone who, quite literally, marks all of the swans.
49. Chief Inspiration Officer – To encourage ‘belief in the company’ and ‘internal evangelism of its values.’
50. Chocolate Taster – The best job in the world.
51. Associate to the Exec Manager of Marketeering & Conservation Efforts – A Marketing Assistant.
52. Pneumatic Device and Machine Optimizer – A Factory Worker.
53. International & World-Wide Optical & Vision-Focused Tenured Professorship – Who knows?
54. Beverage Dissemination Officer – A Bartender.
55. Hyphenated-Specialist – Who knows?
56. Digital Prophet – Something to do with predicting the future, I’d guess.
57. Director of Making People Happy and Content – An HR Manager.
58. Actions and Repercussions Adviser – Who knows?
59. Galactic Viceroy of Research Excellence – Who knows?
60. Space Travel Agent – Held by Craig Curran of Virgin Galactic, the world’s first space tourism business.
61. Patron Saint of Academic Studying – Hmm… There’s something suspicious about this CV.
62. Cheese Sprayer – Someone who sprays cheese or butter by hand on popcorn.
63. Chief Biscuit Dunker – Who knows?
64. Teen Exorcist – Creepy…
65. The Finish Line – Who knows?
66. Chief Troublemaker – Who knows?
67. Chief Chatter – A Call Centre Manager.
68. Bear Biologist and Paper Folder – Who knows?
69. Problem Wrangler – A Counsellor.
70. Pornography Historian – Ye – sure you are…
71. Creativity Analyst – An Assistant Marketing Manager.
72. In-house Philosopher – Who knows?
73. Crayon Evangelist – A Graphic Designer.
74. Genius – A Sales Assistants at Apple.
75. Hacker – Not sure that’s something you should boast about on your CV…
76. Fake mourner – Someone who cries for you at a funeral.
77. Waking Night Support Worker – A support worker who does the night shift.
78. Accounting Ninja – A Financial Manager (Trying to make numbers sound sexier than they are).
79. Sales Ninja – A Sales Executive.
80. Sales Superhero – A Sales Assistant.
81. Catalyst – An Office Manager.
82. Conversation Architect – A Digital Marketing Manager.
83. Director of Fun – A Director of Marketing.
84. Cat Behaviour Consultant – Who knows?
85. Pet Food Taster – YUM. What a life.
86. New Media Guru – A Digital Marketing Manager.
87. Initiative Officer – A Planner.
88. Social Media Trailblazer – A Digital Marketing Executive.
89. Corporate Magician – A Trade Show Magician.
90. Conversation Architect – Digital Marketing Manager.
91. Oyster Floater – Someone who floats oysters in water until they are free of impurities.
92. Toilet Sniffer – I would guess this is something to do with making sure toilets don’t smell?
93. Night Stalker – I’m assuming they meant night stacker, as in shelf stacker.
94. Dog W@nk#r – Yet another example of why you should ALWAYS proofread your CV.
95. Hairapist – Cari, I’ve had a fab idea, why don’t you mingle the words Hair and Therapist!
96. Professional Snuggler – Would you want to snuggle this guy..?
97. Professional Liar – Good job we know how to lie detect then…
98. Face Feeler – Who knows?
99. Bike Fishermen – People who fish bicycles out of canals.
100. Airport Scarecrow – Who knows?
Fancy a change of scenery?
How do these job titles actually make you feel?
As far as I’m concerned, they fall into two categories – absolutely bonkers jobs that simply shouldn’t exist OR silly attempts to jazz up job titles so that they sound more impressive.
Recruiter Pro Tip (For Hiring Managers)
On a serious note… You may have heard the good old myth that, by being creative with your job vacancy, you’re guaranteed to attract more, great staff members.
This is just not the case. If anything, you’re sabotaging your own recruitment process, because NO ONE will be typing ‘marketing genius,’ ‘inspiration officer’ or ‘dynamic dynamo’ jobs into Google, Indeed or any of the other job boards, for that matter.
To find out more, click here.
Stop trying to be overly creative; you should be proud of what you actually do.
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More Funny Stories?
If you’d like to read more weird and wonderful job titles, check out these hilarious articles…
Happy Friday!- Charles Trivett