In the world of professional networking, LinkedIn is the place where serious business happens—or at least, that’s what we like to pretend. It’s a platform where we all try to outdo each other with our impressive job titles, where everyone claims to be a “thought leader”, and where phrases like “synergy” and “disruption” are thrown around like confetti.
But amidst all the corporate jargon and shameless self-promotion, there exists a hidden gem: the LinkedIn recommendation. A section meant for heartfelt endorsements and glowing testimonials, it is, in reality, often a treasure trove of hilarity.
Picture this: you’ve asked your colleague for a quick recommendation. Maybe you’re hoping for something simple like, “John is a great team player.” But instead, you receive an epic novel describing your coffee-making skills in excruciating detail, complete with a subplot about that time you accidentally sent an email to the entire company.
Join me as we explore some of the most hilariously weird LinkedIn recommendations ever penned.
1. The Accidental Novelist
Some people just don’t know when to stop. Take this classic example:
“I have had the pleasure of working alongside Susan for over three years now, and if there’s one thing I can say about her, it’s that she makes a mean cup of Earl Grey. I remember this one time during Q3 of 2018 when we were swamped with reports, and she not only prepared the most exquisite pot of tea but also managed to rescue a drowning pigeon outside the office window. Her multitasking abilities are second to none.”
Let’s hope Susan was applying for a role that required pigeon rescue skills.
2. The Slightly Too Honest
Then there’s the colleague who forgot to apply the rose-tinted filter:
“Tom is the kind of employee who will show up on time—well, most of the time. He’s great at bringing humor into the workplace, which is fortunate, as his attempts at using the new CRM software have been nothing short of comical. Highly recommend if you’re looking for a laugh!”
Ah, the faint praise of “Most of the time.” The ultimate backhanded compliment.
3. The Mysterious Metaphor
Some recommendations leave you wondering if you’ve accidentally wandered into a poetry slam:
“Working with Gary is like navigating the seas of business with a trusty compass. His presence is a lighthouse, guiding you through the foggy storms of fiscal forecasting. Also, he once caught a fish with his bare hands at the office retreat, which was, to put it lightly, impressive.”
Unless he’s applying for a role as a seafaring captain, Gary might want to request a rewrite.
4. The Exaggerator Extraordinaire
And then there are those who turn the dial up to eleven:
“Jessica single-handedly revolutionized our entire marketing strategy. In just one week, our social media followers went from three to three million. She is the Michelangelo of content creation.”
Sure, Jessica might be talented, but let’s hope no one fact-checks that claim.
5. The Master of Understatement
On the flip side, some recommendations are a little too understated:
“Alex has worked here for several years and has been a presence in the office.”
“A presence” could mean anything from “keeps to himself” to “haunts the break room.”
6. The Surrealist
Some writers decide to take a more… abstract approach:
“Working with Linda is akin to watching a sunset over a field of daffodils while a symphony plays softly in the distance. Her reports are the crescendo, her spreadsheets the gentle lull of the strings.”
It’s beautiful, it’s moving… and it tells us absolutely nothing about Linda’s actual skills.
7. The Overly Familiar Friend
Occasionally, recommendations come from someone a bit too close for comfort:
“Steve is my buddy from way back, and let me tell you, he has a legendary ability to handle complex projects. Remember that time he organized our pub crawl? That was a logistical masterpiece!”
Cheers to Steve, but maybe save the pub stories for after work hours.
8. The Unintentionally Backhanded Compliment
Sometimes, flattery and critique get mixed up:
“Rachel is surprisingly good at her job.”
Surprisingly? Well, thanks… I think?
Need to Recruit People Who Can Write Proper LinkedIn Endorsements?
At Coburg Banks, we understand that finding the right candidates is about more than just reading between the ridiculous lines of LinkedIn recommendations.
If you’re looking to hire professionals who can write glowing endorsements without accidentally launching into a Shakespearean monologue or revealing your questionable karaoke skills, get in touch.
We promise to connect you with candidates who are as skilled in their jobs as they are in crafting the perfect LinkedIn profile.
