Adults say the funniest things – especially in interviews.
Undoubtedly a high-pressure situation – both candidate and hiring manager are under strain to appear professional but friendly, confident but not arrogant, unique but not weird.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out that way…
So this week, to give you some light-reading over the Easter break, we’ve put together a list of the funniest things people have said in interviews – from both sides of the table.
(If you’d like some tips on overcoming those job interview nerves, click here).
Absurd Candidate Answers:
“Honesty is the best policy” – I’m really not so sure, when it comes to interviews…
Interviewer: What’s your greatest weakness?
Candidate: Women. That’s kind of why I’m looking for a new job. I had an affair with my boss’s wife.
Interviewer: Why did you leave your last job?
Candidate: Honestly, I just couldn’t be arsed with my d*ckhead of a boss anymore.
Interviewer: Why do you want to work with us?
Candidate: My mum said I have to get a job or she’ll stop giving me money.
Interviewer: Did you bring your references with you?
Candidate: I tried, they couldn’t get the time off work!
Interviewer: What makes you think you’re right for a job? (McDonalds – burger flipper).
Candidate: Well, I’m great with animals.
Interviewer: What’s made you want to leave your current company?
Candidate: I literally cannot stand those bunch of idiots anymore.
Interviewer: What’s your greatest strength?
Candidate: I can do a really great impression of the wind, listen – whooooosh.
Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Candidate: Probably some sort of exotic beach somewhere.
Interviewer: What attracted you to the role?
Candidate: Honestly, I don’t even know what I’m doing here – my recruitment consultant told me it’s good practice to go to interviews.
Interviewer: What are your hobbies and interests?
Candidate: Well, as you can see, I’m a young, virile man and I’m single – if you ladies know what I’m saying.” Then he looked at one of the fair-haired board members and said, “I particularly like blondes.
Imagine if everyone was this honest in interviews…
Inappropriate Interviewer Questions:
How the hell would you answer these questions?
Interviewer: How do you feel about ditching this interview and going out for a drink instead?
Interviewer: Would you mind giving me a twirl?
Interviewer: Why is it ok to eat chicken, but not cat?
Interviewer: Have you ever seen a ghost?
Interviewer: Do you think I’m ugly?
Interviewer: If you were starving to death on a desert island, would you eat a human being?
Interviewer: What kind of birth control do you use?
Interviewer: How do you feel about garden gnomes?
Interviewer: How would you hide a dead body?
Interviewer: Did you just see the way she looked at me (about the boss)?
Click here to check out some more absolutely crazy interview questions!
Crazy Candidate Questions:
That dreaded question at the end of an interview: “have you got any questions for us?” always manages to catch people out…
Candidate: What’s the holiday allowance?
Interviewer: You get 25 days, plus your birthday.
Candidate: OK… what’s your policy on sickness?
Candidate: Do you do random drug tests?
Candidate: Are you single?
Candidate: Do you monitor lunch breaks?
Candidate: Can I date co-workers, or bosses..?
Candidate: I really love my job, but hate my boss. What would you do?
Candidate: What happened to your legs?
Candidate: Do you believe that fate brought me here?
Candidate: Do you like scary movies?
Candidate: Fancy going for a drink? I’m a bit better when I’ve had a couple.
Inappropriate Interviewer Answers:
Of course, interviewers also have to be ready and prepared to answer candidate questions – something that many fail to think about…
Candidate: What’s the company culture like?
Interviewer: Incredibly stressful, competitive and to be honest, a little vicious.
Candidate: What happened to the last person who had my job?
Interviewer: You don’t want to know…
Candidate: What do you enjoy most about working here?
Interviewer: Clocking off at 5.30pm.
Candidate: What happens now?
Interviewer: How would you feel if I asked you out on a date?
Candidate: When can I expect to hear a decision?
Interviewer: Right now, you’ve not got the job.
Candidate: Do you socialise with colleagues outside of work?
Interviewer: Oh, god no. Did you not see them?
Candidate: Where do you think I’ll be in 5 years?
Interviewer: Probably working somewhere else. People don’t last long here.
Candidate: Is there anything else you’d like to know about me?
Interviewer: I’m leaving in a week, so to be honest, I really don’t care.
Candidate: What was your first impression of me?
Interviewer: Hot, but a little bit stupid.
Candidate: Can you tell me a little more about the role?
Interviewer: Honestly, you’ll spend most of your time running round after me.
Silly and random statements
And then there are those people who don’t even need prompting to say something silly…
Candidate: Hi I’m Michael (the candidate’s name was Tamsin – the interviewer’s name was Michael).
Interviewer: Can you please be less irritating? I’m hungover from last night.
Candidate: Look, we both know I’m the dog’s boll*cks, so just give me the job.
Interviewer: I like you – you really get my juices flowing.
Candidate: I get on with most people… except maybe fat people.
Interviewer: You’re a big lad aren’t you?
Candidate: I have a confession. I got arrested last week for fighting with my boss.
Interviewer: If I had a big red buzzer like on X-factor I would be buzzing it right now.
Candidate: I’d appreciate it if you listened to me and stopped making notes.
Interviewer: I’m sorry, I’m finding it hard to concentrate – your eyes are magnificent.
How would you respond?
You’ve got to feel sorry for these poor, misguided souls – their quotes would definitely make for an interesting interview, at the very least (and they definitely made an impression).
Recruiter Pro Tip
Everyone makes mistakes and when we’re put under pressure, it’s easy to let something silly slip out of our mouths.
If you’d like more guidance on interviewing in general, including tons of great example questions, click here to check out our ‘assessing applicants’ blog.
Or if you need some tips on how to impress hiring managers, including loads of practice questions and answers, click here to check out our job search blog.
Or if you’d simply like to read more funny blog posts like this one – click here to subscribe to this blog! We’ll pop over a short weekly email, with our latest story.
Have a wonderful Easter and bank holiday weekend.- Charles Trivett