Ah, the job interview. A ritual as ancient as the pyramid scheme, where two parties come together in a small room adorned with motivational posters, hoping to form a mutually beneficial alliance.
One seeking gainful employment, the other hoping to find someone who doesn’t have ‘serial killer’ listed under ‘hobbies’ on their CV.
In theory, the interview is a place for serious business. But before diving into the nitty-gritty of competencies and KPI jargon, there’s the inevitable warm-up act: the icebreaker.
These little conversational starters are meant to ease tension, foster rapport, and create a comfortable atmosphere. But sometimes, just sometimes, they backfire spectacularly, leaving everyone involved cringing harder than a teenager watching their parents try to floss.
1. “If You Were an Animal, What Would You Be and Why?”
A classic, and not in the good way. This question is designed to reveal something deep about a candidate’s personality. You know, like the fact that they wish they were a majestic eagle soaring through the skies, or perhaps a loyal dog living a life of luxury.
But all it really reveals is that you’ve been watching too much David Attenborough on Netflix.
The problem? Most people panic and go with something utterly bizarre:
“Umm… a sloth? Because I enjoy naps?”
Great. Now you’re stuck wondering if they’ll spend most of their time at work hanging from the rafters in a state of blissful apathy.
2. “Sell Me This Pen”
Ah yes, the old sales cliché.
In theory, it’s a test of quick thinking and persuasive skills. In reality, it’s an awkward exercise where most people end up sounding like a bad infomercial:
“This pen has ink. Ink is useful. Buy the pen?”
The only thing worse than being asked to sell a pen is when the interviewer actually hands you a pen, and you’re left holding it like some kind of artefact from a lost civilisation.
3. “Tell Me a Joke”
There’s a time and a place to test someone’s stand-up comedy skills, and a job interview is neither.
Sure, some people manage to pull out a cheeky one-liner and get a chuckle.
But more often than not, it goes like this:
“Um, why did the chicken… um, I can’t remember the punchline. Sorry.”
Leaving both parties to sit in a silence so uncomfortable it could be bottled and sold as a weapon.
4. “What Superpower Would You Choose?”
This question, presumably added in by someone who watched too many Marvel films, is designed to gauge creativity.
But it mostly results in answers like:
“Invisibility, so I could hide from awkward questions like this.”
Or the ever-popular (and somewhat concerning):
“Mind control, so I could make you offer me the job.”
Which is a great way to ensure everyone exits the interview with a slight edge of paranoia.
5. “If You Could Have Dinner with Any Three People, Dead or Alive, Who Would They Be?”
This is one of those questions that sounds profound but is ultimately a no-win situation.
Go too highbrow, and you’re pretentious:
“I’d have dinner with Einstein, Shakespeare, and Gandhi.”
Go too lowbrow, and you’re shallow:
“I’d have dinner with Beyonce, my nan, and the bloke who invented Nutella.”
There’s no right answer, only the certainty that you’ll judge them for whatever they choose.
6. “How Many Tennis Balls Can You Fit in a Limousine?”
And finally, we have the weirdly specific brainteaser that supposedly measures problem-solving skills.
But let’s be real - it only proves how willing the candidate is to humour you through gritted teeth.
Instead of revealing their analytical prowess, it just makes everyone wonder:
“Why would you want that many tennis balls in a limousine? Is this a niche hobby you have? Should I be worried?”
Need to Conduct Interviews Without the Cringe?
Icebreakers have their place, but if you’re looking for real insight instead of awkward silences, it’s time to shake things up.
At Coburg Banks, we help businesses find candidates who can think on their feet without having to sell a pen or reveal their secret superhero persona.
So, if you want to keep the cringe to a minimum and the quality to a maximum, get in touch.
We’ll help you break the ice - and maybe even land that perfect hire.
